Great North Run for Graham Wylie Foundation

GNRThis September I’m running the Great North Run for the first time.

I guess it’s not widely known that I have a number of health challenges; MS, arthritis, asthma and a rare blood condition called ITP, I’m also patron of a local dyslexia charity, so there were many, many causes I could have chosen to run for in this, my first half marathon. However, when I first helped Graham Wylie with his Kaiser Chiefs event at Newcastle Arena last year, I knew I wanted to help spread the word about his fabulous work and generosity in setting up a charity without any administration costs.

This run will be a physical challenge for me but I really want to get out there and help raise awareness of the great work of the Graham Wylie Foundation.

If you’d like to join me in taking part in this world famous half marathon in aid of GWF then please follow this link.



On 5th June in Newcastle, at The Stand Comedy Club, Simon hosts a purely cush benefit gig in aid of Dyslexia North East England, a chair-i-dee of what he is patron and that.

At just five quid a pop, with Seymour Mace, Gavin Webster, John Whale, Julie Grady Thomas and acoustic music from The Whodlums, Monday night entertainment doesn’t get much better than this. Book directly through the charity’s ticket number 0786 826 3696. Tickets are also available from the Stand’s box office.


Character Bus Tour!

character_tour_webOn the 11th of May, in association with, Simon will once again be setting out on a Comedy Bus Tour, but this time with a difference. On this three-hour tour it won’t be him, Simon Donald (him off the Viz) who takes you on a tour around Tyneside, but a bunch of his character creations (him in different shirts, hats and wigs). The bus will stopping at places of interest (pubs) along the way, and there’ll be opportunities to ask questions of Simon (in various hats) and to buy exciting merchandise (the Him Off the Viz book which Simon will sign whilst wearing a hat or wig, or perhaps neither).

The bus will set off at 7pm from Bewick Street, opposite Newcastle Central Station and the tour will last approximately three hours. You can bring your own refreshments, giving the event that real charabanc feeling.

Tickets are £15, book now through Julie Clay on 0191 253 1618 or visit for more information.

New Show for Leicester Comedy Festival

Simon will launch his new* show SATISCRAPTORY celebrating** twelve years as a stand-up comedian at this year’s Leicester Comedy Festival. The venue for this monumental event† is the historic and majestic†† CRITERION, 44 Millstone Lane, LEICESTER LE1 5JN. Call 0116 456 6812 or get INFO and TICKETS here.

Satiscraptory poster

*Some content is mechanically recovered.
**Some of the celebratory nature of this show may have settled in transit.
†Not actually monumental.
†† Promotional error, at the time of going to press, the words historic and majestic were accidentally inserted when the words ‘unknown’ and ‘underwhelming’ were misplaced behind some boxes of undue sentiment.

Barry Twyford is coming to that London

Eeeeh. London.

barry_twyford-webBARRY TWYFORD is coming to the Museum of Comedy in Bloomsbury on the 26th of November with his unintentional show BARRY TWYFORD ISN’T MEANT.

‘Superb, inventive comedy’ – Stage

‘Former Viz man, as funny with a microphone in his hand as he was with a pencil’ – Guardian

More info and tickets HERE.

Simon Donald, of Viz Comic fame, performs as his most popular character, the hapless market researcher Barry Twyford, whose surveys often pose more questions than they answer. An endearing and loveable idiot, Barry spends the whole show desperately trying to find ways to entertain the crowd. In his inimitable floundering style, he has attempted to gain the venue’s permission to perform an exit survey of the audience, but instead has accidently booked himself to perform an hour of comedy. A terrified Twyford attempts to use the internet to find someone, anyone to help him, whilst online he has some bizarre face-to-face encounters with a number of Donald’s outrageous character creations.


More Bus-Tours and Upcoming Gigs

The Tyne Idols HIM OFF THE VIZ Bus Tour (details in post below this one) proved so popular that another was arranged immediately for 12th October. That proved so popular that it also sold out. But don’t fret, another has been organised for the 16th and is also selling fast, so get you tickets at £15 by visiting or call 0191 253 1618.

If you can’t make the bus tour I’ll be at the World’s finest comedy club, The Stand Newcastle, on all the days between; Thursday 13th, Friday 14th and Saturday 15th October with Carey Marx and Tom Lucy. Visit The Stand Comedy Club site for more details and for tickets.

Other Dates:

Friday 30th September sees me performing my very own brand of ‘cerebral filth’ (The List) at the Exchange in North Shields with Cal Halbert, him off the Mimic Men  Tickets here

Thursday 3rd November I’ll be appearing as Barry Twyord at the Aberdeen Comedy Festival.

More gig dates and comic con announcements to follow soon.

Bus-Tour Gonad and his Unfeasibly Contrived Headline


You see me, right, HIM OFF THE VIZ, I’m doing a three hour bus tour around Newcastle on 25th August, starting from the Central Station at 7pm, right. The bus is kindly provided by Tyne Idols, who do this kind of thing all the time, but with less swearing and fart jokes.

The tour will take in many of the places that contributed to the birth and growth of Newcastle’s most sweatiest ever toilet magazine. We’ll be stopping at The Gosforth Hotel, the place where Viz was first sold by my brother and me at the door of a gig by Arthur Two Stroke on the 10th of December back in 1979, and also at the Trent House, the first pub to sell Viz over the counter, these stops will allow passengers to alight and impart of refreshments, but don’t let that stop you bringing some plonk of your own to neck on the journey. Best bring some crisps too, to give the impression you care about yourself.

My constant babbling will be micro-managed by my co-conductor Alex Collier, HIM ALSO OFF THE VIZ, who will be using his big, hairy hands to push the anecdote triggering button just above my arse.

You’ll be able to buy merchandise; signed and personalised copies of my book HIM OFF THE VIZ and live DVD’s. I’ll also begrudgingly sign any old Viz tat you’d care to bring along.

I’ll also be doing a song about buses, so that’ll be nice. Or possibly not.

Tickets are £15 and are selling fast, please visit or call 0191 253 1618.

Lindisfarne Legend to Open Fundraiser

billymitchellGREAT NEWS… Billy Mitchell, former front man with North East folk rock Goliaths Lindisfarne, is to be the special guest at my Dyslexia North East fundraiser on April 1st at The Cluny2 in Newcastle. Billy has once again given his time to help raise funds for this local charity.

The multi talented entertainer will open the night with a tune or two before the rest of the music gets underway; Hannah Lamb, Acoustic Whodlums, The Purest Green and The Middens. I’ll be keeping the whole thing going with a comedy tune or two and maybe a guest spot or two with a couple of the bands. We may yet manage to get another special guest. Watch this space. TICKETS


Achris_crosslso just added to the bill is multi award winning lanky local masterful magician Chris Cross, he’ll be doing some close-up magic in the bar and a stage trick between two of the music sets. Nothing is old hat here – he’s fresh, funny & fast. Remarkable sleight of hand and mesmerising tricks.


soul_webAmongst the many items that will be auctioned on the night are a set of framed photographs kindly donated by Ian Woodcock. Very fitting for a night with so many mod connections, his fantastic photos are of Northern Soul dancers, getting the funk right out of their faces, and nearly kicking their own teeth out in the process.

SMALL_FACESSMALL FACES EXCLUSIVE… There is also an official Small Faces T-Shirt signed by Kenny Jones. I shall be bidding on this one myself.

Very generously donated by Lee Major.


Dyslexia Benefit Line-up News

North Shield’s own young faces The Middens have added the services of their ‘New Mod’ sounds to Simon’s Dyslexia North East fundraiser at The Cluny on 1st April, joining a line-up already featuring The Purest Green, Acoustic Whodlums, Hannah Lamb plus a guest or two, all hosted by Simon himself.

The Middens take influences from bands and artists spanning five decades.  For their sound, think Libertines meet The Clash with a hint of Who.  They write and play way beyond their teenage years and are now being recognised for their vibrant and energetic live shows with a growing fan base. Click on the photo above to hear and see this vibrant little outfit doing their thing.

All of this cracking entertainment for just five of your quids. Tickets HERE